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No one who knows me well would describe me as an optimist. I'm a realist at best. When I was younger, I was even a bit on the "emo" side. I loved music that was depressing, the color black (I still do) and pondering my tragically normal life. I spent a lot of time watching TV and movies, and eventually reading books... because those stories were more appealing than my reality.Charles Dickens became a favorite author of mine. Naturally I would gravitate toward literature set in the miserable, depressing streets of England. It was as I finished reading "A Tale of Two Cities" for the first time and found myself in tears (I didn't like to cry. Crying was for people who were uncomfortable with sadness.) that I started to realize what it really was that I loved about those stories. Mr. Dickens found a way to show me incredible beauty through his dark, ugly stories. I realized that the characters and themes I had loved in those books were the worthless drunk who sacrificed himself for those he loved. The escaped-convict-turned-philanthropist. The underlying themes that people can be redeemed and good will win out over evil.
It became a sort of game to me to find the obscure messages in everything I watched and read. It wasn't long before I noticed that not only was I seeing truth in fiction, but in the daily happenings of the chaotic fallen world around me. In the beautifully broken people I met. It's easy to feel God's love when you train yourself to see His influence in everything around you.
I've gained a firm belief that it is important not only to avoid things that are vulgar, inappropriate, degrading or offensive... but to actively seek out things that are inspiring, uplifting or of eternal value. (Even in "silly" movies.) Not to excuse ugliness, but to find beauty in spite of it.
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And so the game meant to rescue me from reality has become the skill that allows me to embrace and love it.
