Just a Few Laughs

My nephews Brigham and Hunter went to the zoo with me yesterday. On the way home, Brigham decided we should turn the radio off and tell jokes. Great idea! He and I swapped a few jokes, then Hunter (4 years old) threw out a couple of his own. Here's how it went:

My Joke:
Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?
- Because he had no body to go with him.

Hunter's Joke:
Why did the water bottle go to the theatre?
- Because he had no water bottle friends.


Brigham's Joke:
Why was the baseball stadium so hot after the game?
- Because all the fans left.

Hunter's Joke:
Why was it so hot at the beach?
- Because there were no fans.


My Joke:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Impatient cow.
Impatient cow...
MOO!

Brigham's Joke:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Impatient dog.
Impatient dog...
BARK BARK!

Hunter's Joke:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Impatient turtle.
Impatient turtle who?
...
...
...
Looked in my rearview mirror to see a very puzzled little face. Finally he shrugged and we all had a good laugh. Best joke ever.

New Man in My Life

Meet Lyle.



Lyle is my new leopard gecko. I found him at a pet store on my way home from work last week. Lyle does not like the camera flash in his face.



Lyle is great at being a lizard! He is wonderful at eating crickets. See him sleeping next to his log? Lyle is a very good sleeper!



It's dark because Lyle doesn't like the flash in his face while he's sleeping. Can you blame him?



Look at Lyle's fancy stripes! They will turn to spots when Lyle is big. But Lyle is small. And so they are stripes. Cute Lyle with his fancy stripes.

Holiday Spirit

I've been doing some thinking the last day or two about what I could do to make it seem more like Christmas. Since I've spent this holiday season mainly in Arizona, it just hasn't felt quite right. Well, this evening I came up with a solution. I created false photos of myself doing holiday things! Enjoy!

Me running from a giant snowball:




Me chillin' with a yeti:



Me putting up Christmas lights:




And finally, me as a gingerbread person:




I can't even tell you how much this has helped.

Give me the news...

You may notice it's been a while since I last posted. I've been battling a demonic cold. You know what I mean: the one you think you have licked over and over, then it comes back with a vengeful attack on your throat or eardrum.

Anyway - I finally broke down yesterday after it became excruciating to swallow and went to the urgent care clinic. After waiting for about an hour, I went into the "jungle room" (covered with stuffed birds, monkeys, and tigers, with a repetitive border around the top of the wall) and had my throat swabbed.

The doctor came in with the results and said, "Wow, you've been sick for a while now. You don't have strep!" Here's my favorite part... "Well, since you've been sick for so long, I'm sure it'll be done soon."

Seriously? I want my co-pay back. He proceeded to advise me to pick up some over-the-counter allergy medication and "hang in there."

In the meantime, I'll just try to avoid swallowing and get used to the obnoxious echo in my right ear. Cheers!

Dot Com

I was on my way out the door to work the other day and my nephew Hunter was typing away on the computer. Suddenly he exclaimed, "Aunt Ami! I found your dot com!"

My what!? Again he said, "I found your dot com! See?!" He had somehow stumbled upon my blog with my photo at the top. He'll be my number one reader, I'm sure! That is, as soon as he learns to read...

Tooting My Own Horn

As I've been unemployed and trying to spice up my resume, I've been making lists of all of the skills that make me an asset. Some of them didn't make the resume cut, but I definitely don't want them to go unnoticed. I deserve some credit for the following skills:

1. I am a phenomenal whistler. Not a great singer, but I can whistle you anything you'd like to hear. Some people can't whistle at all, you know.

2. I have an uncanny ability to choose the squeakiest, most obnoxious shopping carts at Wal-Mart. You know, the one that can be heard three aisles over? Definitely an attention-getter. This can be beneficial if you're having a good hair day!

3. I am not typically a confident dancer...unless I'm in the kitchen. If there's music playing in the kitchen, look out! I'm probably breaking it down! I've definitely got some moves if I do say so myself.

4. Boggle. I dig it. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been beaten at Boggle.

5. I am great at shooting rubber bands. My nephews were in awe the other night. Not only do I get good distance, but my accuracy is impeccable.

6. I don't mean to brag, but no matter what the commercials say, I can totally tell the difference between Coke, Diet Coke, and Coke Zero when blindfolded. (Guess which is my favorite!)

So there you have it. Six skills that are not listed on my resume. Marketable? Probably not. Noteworthy? Most definitely!

Water works...

Last week, I went to the beach in Southern California to camp with my sister and her kids. Had a pretty good time, but would not have survived without a connection to the outside world. My cell phone pretty much never left my side. Was it tricky keeping it out of the sand and ocean!? Absolutely!

Upon our arrival home Thursday night, I sat on the couch to watch tv, sipping a glass of icy water. Ahh...heaven. My trusty cell phone sat on the cushion next to me. As I shifted in my seat during a commercial break, I heard the strangest sound. The only way to describe it is this: imagine a cell phone falling in the most unlikely way off of a couch and directly into a glass of ice water. (Oh, the irony.)

One evening and a few hundred dollars later, I had found the new love of my life. Here's a picture!

Mine is berry colored with flowers tattooed on the back. Lovely. It slides two ways! Amazing. Don't think for a second that I haven't learned from this experience. This phone is insured should anything happen in the future... and stays FAR AWAY from standing water of any kind. :)