What Happens in Mexico...

As I obviously am a big fan of making lists and presenting them as editorials, I have compiled this list of important observations and lessons learned while I was on the beach in Mexico this last week. Let's get started, shall we?

1) You don't REALLY need your birth certificate or car title to get into Mexico. They'll let anyone in... it's getting out that can be tricky. However, if you all look white enough, they'll let you back to the US without too much trouble, as well.

2) The ocean is salty. It is REALLY REALLY salty. It burns your eyes. It burns your tongue. It dries you out and plasters your hair to your head. It looks BEAUTIFUL!...but you won't anymore once you've been in.

3) Any captured sand crab should be named "Pinchy". Any questions?

4) You really should avoid running in shallow water at low tide. One of three things will happen. You will either a- get stung by a jellyfish or stingray; b- tear a foot up on the jagged reef (which I chose to do); or c- end up having to carry the a's and b's back to the camp.

5) If you do tear your foot up on the reef while running in shallow water during low tide, don't run up to the top of the beach afterwards to show all your friends. By the time you get there, your foot will be gushing blood, and you'll be halfway into a state of shock. That's why it'll seem so funny to you at the time.

6) It's handy to know Spanish when you get pulled over in Mexico. If you can't work things out that way, however, just pretend you have no idea what's going on and hand them $20. Works every time.

7) You really can't go wrong if you constantly refer to the ocean as "the drink". It will ALWAYS sound cool. Seriously...try it.

8) Looking cute always helps. When your friends get their truck stuck in the sand dunes, you don't have to feel helpless. You're doing your part just by standing around and being cute.

9) Sunscreen isn't waterproof. I don't care what the bottles say.

10) The tough guy is usually the one that gets sick. Just when you think you've made the whole trip without anyone getting sick, the tough guy will probably puke all the way home... just for kicks.

11) You can enjoy an entire four day stay in Mexico listening to nothing but Jimmy Eat World.

12) You can tell yourself you don't care what you look like, but you'll change your mind when all the other girls are sitting in their tent doing their makeup in the morning. Good thing you're not trying to impress anyone, right?

13) Finally, if you're ever stopped on the side of the road in a caravan with some friends in Mexico, and you've got a bag of gummy worms... try licking them and throwing them onto the windshield behind you. This is guaranteed to make everyone's trip 10 times more enjoyable.

Thirteen... a good prime number. I could go on and on about the lessons to be learned on a singles vacation; but for the sake of time and the avoidance of developing carpal tunnel, I'll stop here.