The Spinster Line

Here are the signs I have noticed that may indicate one's crossing the line into Spinsterhood:


1. You go to a wedding and the bride just hands you the bouquet.
2. Upon college graduation, instead of congratulations, you receive the comment, "With no one...I mean...nothing to show for it?"
3. Every relative you have has "someone you should meet".
4. Your dad starts "encouraging" you to focus more seriously on a long term career.
5. Your collection of bridesmaid dresses outnumbers your Sunday dresses.
6. Single guy friends refer to you more frequently as "bro" or "dude".
7. Family friends stopped checking your left ring finger long ago.
8. You stop opening any mail item addressed in caligraphy.
9. Your grandfather suggests that you stand in front of the chapel doors and smile... maybe you could "catch someone" off guard.
10. Instead of mentally naming future children, you begin mentally naming future cats.