What Happens in Mexico...

As I obviously am a big fan of making lists and presenting them as editorials, I have compiled this list of important observations and lessons learned while I was on the beach in Mexico this last week. Let's get started, shall we?

1) You don't REALLY need your birth certificate or car title to get into Mexico. They'll let anyone in... it's getting out that can be tricky. However, if you all look white enough, they'll let you back to the US without too much trouble, as well.

2) The ocean is salty. It is REALLY REALLY salty. It burns your eyes. It burns your tongue. It dries you out and plasters your hair to your head. It looks BEAUTIFUL!...but you won't anymore once you've been in.

3) Any captured sand crab should be named "Pinchy". Any questions?

4) You really should avoid running in shallow water at low tide. One of three things will happen. You will either a- get stung by a jellyfish or stingray; b- tear a foot up on the jagged reef (which I chose to do); or c- end up having to carry the a's and b's back to the camp.

5) If you do tear your foot up on the reef while running in shallow water during low tide, don't run up to the top of the beach afterwards to show all your friends. By the time you get there, your foot will be gushing blood, and you'll be halfway into a state of shock. That's why it'll seem so funny to you at the time.

6) It's handy to know Spanish when you get pulled over in Mexico. If you can't work things out that way, however, just pretend you have no idea what's going on and hand them $20. Works every time.

7) You really can't go wrong if you constantly refer to the ocean as "the drink". It will ALWAYS sound cool. Seriously...try it.

8) Looking cute always helps. When your friends get their truck stuck in the sand dunes, you don't have to feel helpless. You're doing your part just by standing around and being cute.

9) Sunscreen isn't waterproof. I don't care what the bottles say.

10) The tough guy is usually the one that gets sick. Just when you think you've made the whole trip without anyone getting sick, the tough guy will probably puke all the way home... just for kicks.

11) You can enjoy an entire four day stay in Mexico listening to nothing but Jimmy Eat World.

12) You can tell yourself you don't care what you look like, but you'll change your mind when all the other girls are sitting in their tent doing their makeup in the morning. Good thing you're not trying to impress anyone, right?

13) Finally, if you're ever stopped on the side of the road in a caravan with some friends in Mexico, and you've got a bag of gummy worms... try licking them and throwing them onto the windshield behind you. This is guaranteed to make everyone's trip 10 times more enjoyable.

Thirteen... a good prime number. I could go on and on about the lessons to be learned on a singles vacation; but for the sake of time and the avoidance of developing carpal tunnel, I'll stop here.

Thoughts on Valentine's Day...

Fact: Today is Valentine's Day.
Fact: I am single.

Question: Why are we expected to be depressed or upset when we're single for Valentine's Day?

My thoughts: To me, Valentine's Day is often a lot like Hannukah. It just doesn't really apply to me. The thing is... I don't sit around moping on Hannukah because I'm not Jewish. So why would I be sad on Valentine's Day because I'm single?!? When you think about it... it's only Valentine's Day for those who have significant others. For the rest of us it's Wednesday.

I have to say... I have had a lovely Wednesday.

The Longest 7 (or 10) Hours... ::Travel Troubles::

Before I begin, I would like to make two things very clear...
1. I never get airsick.
2. I like little children.

It all started around 3 pm. After a short break for the holidays, it was definitely time to go back to school. Everything seemed fine for a while, but my mother is a crier. Do you know hard it is to remove your shoes and jacket, empty your pockets, present your passport, pass through the metal detector, replace your shoes and jacket, and walk away while your mother is watching you...crying?!? Not simple, my friend. Anyone who can watch their mother cry without shedding a tear is dead inside. Don't worry, though. She called me five minutes later to make sure I'd found my gate. (Have you been to the Tulsa airport?!)

Upon boarding the plane, to my dismay I found that my seat was already occupado by a man who barely spoke english and smelled like a coat closet. With some help from the cute boy behind me (also the boy who was to sit next to me for the next 2.5 hours) things were cleared up and we settled in. Only a few moments later, however, it was realized that the entire row in front of us was empty and the cute boy quickly moved to the seat in front of his. Too quickly. I chose not to take that personally.

Before taking off, the pilot came on to explain to us that we would experience a great deal of turbulance over Colorado. Usually the captain won't talk about turbulance until turbulance has actually been experienced. When the captain predicts turbulance...BUCKLE UP! Let's just say that by the time we got to Salt Lake, I was probably green... not to mention quite happy the cute boy was not sitting two inches from me. Enough about that.

In Salt Lake, I had about a three hour layover. Since nothing interesting happened at this point, we'll move ahead.

During that last leg of my travels, upon boarding the plane I was informed that my seat had been changed for me. This didn't phase me too much, since I was replaced into a window seat. After everyone else had boarded, the three seats in my row were still unoccupied. Following some hustle and bustle at the front of the planes, two small girls and a mother holding a baby walk down the isle to the seats next to me. A charming little lady sat neatly next to me, buckled her safety belt and helped herself to a bag of chips. The cuteness didn't last. It wasn't long before I was being tackled by a monster with Dorito-encrusted fingers and milky breath, insisting that I keep my window shut and turn BOTH overhead lights on. (Neither of those are things I like to do.) That went down for about the next hour. The highlight of the flight was when the young child blurted out loudly, "Hey, why is your nose so big?" While her horrified mother apologized and scolded her, I explained politely that my father has a large nose. I didn't FEEL like being polite...

Upon our 30-minute late arrival into Idaho Falls, I joined the other passengers in waiting another 30 minutes for our luggage. Then I joined the other 6 passengers whose luggage was lost. Yes... that is how my day was yesterday.

Moral of the story: Flying is the safest way to travel.

Abnormal Things that Ami Hates...

Apparently I really like making lists. I can't stand these things...
1. Being on speaker phone.
2. The smell left on your hands after you eat something.
3. Polytonic ringtones.
4. Forwarded emails.
5. Putting away clean silverware.
6. Old snow.
7. Dry skin. (mostly on me)
8. Eating late at night.
9. People who don't smile back at you.
10. Small dogs.
11. Depressing movies. (With the exception of Hope Floats)
12. Anything starring Britney Murphy.
13. Cute shows laced with underlying political messages.
14. Vanilla scents.
15. People who don't use the vent in the bathroom, then leave the door open when they leave.
16. Most surprises.
17. Expensive presents.
18. Wearing socks to bed.
19. Fat jokes.
20. Alfredo sauce.

Family Holiday...

Okay so I've been thinking to myself about my favorite things about this Christmas with my family have been, and decided to try and list them. Here it goes...

1. My 28-year-old brother insisted we all be awake no later than 7 am to open presents. (I'm the youngest one here. I'd just as soon sleep in.)

2. My 4-year-old nephew knows all the words to the Little Drummer Boy - as sung by Chicago.

3. I was chastised by the entire family repeatedly for prematurely opening an awkward package of gifts from an ex-boyfriend.

4. For the first time in years... Santa didn't forget something and bring it to me later that day.

5. My elder sister got bumped ahead in the stocking line because she is no longer tall enough to stand behind me.

6. There was no money in my stocking.

7. I was able to avoid watching "The Muppet Christmas Carol" the entire week before Christmas.

8. Nobody in the family ward asked me why I wasn't married yet.

9. A best friend got engaged and I wasn't resentful...kind of a big deal.

10. During a lovely family game, 3 out of 6 family members chose the movie "Forrest Gump" to describe my personality.

11. I went to three movies within the first 24 hours of being home... two of which I'd already seen. (Pretty good ones, though.)

12. The collection of Christmas lights in the front yard grows immensely each year. This year was no exception.

13. Ham and mashed potatos...that's all I'm gonna say.

14. One game of dominos = One hour...at least.

I could do this all night...

Higher Education...(What I've learned this semester)

These are just a few of the profound truths I've learned these past few precious months:

1. Whenever one door closes, it may take an extremely long time for another to open...and in the meantime, more will slam shut that you didn't even know were there. You can assume however, that there is good enough air circulation. Hopefully you'll be right.

2. If someone gets in trouble, and you never get in trouble... they're probably going to assume it's your fault they got caught. People tend to think that nobody could possibly be onto them without you tipping someone off.

3. Sometimes it really is okay to fail. Even if you've spent a lot of time avoiding it... failure is, in fact, an option. Accept it, and move on.

4. Families are AMAZING. It may surprise you how they can all come through for you when you need them... even the ones you thought were gone.

5. Not all LDS professors will support a life goal of homemaking and motherhood. There's always going to be that short chemist who doesn't respect you for getting a degree you don't intend to use fully in the future.

6. Almost every awkward situation can have a good outcome!
A few awkward encounters with an old friend = a realization that you've both changed and moved on.
One awkward night with that prickly guy = no longer feeling obligated to "give them a chance".
An entire awkward semester = an undoubtably better semester to come.

7. The best time to go to the gym is at 8am. The early birds have come and gone, and everyone else is still in bed.

8. Making gifts will not always save you money. Especially when there's only one craft store in town, and it's severely overpriced. Think that through before you get too far. You may not be able to eat during finals week.

9. You may be surprised to find that the very best roommates probably live in another apartment. Better luck next time!

10. Being single can present many opportunities in which to excell!! Take every chance you can to discover new skill possibilities, e.i. Euro dancing, cold water hot-tubbing, class skipping, Bravo TV memorization, bedroom Nerf basketball, Bop-It Extreme II, "Craft Hour"ing, gift making...etc. The possibilities are endless.

Just a few things I've found.