As we get older, we come to realize the things in life that really matter. Things like birthday gifts and big celebrations seem unimportant. Age is, after all, just a number, right?
I could not disagree more. I've decided that aging quietly is the worst idea ever. I would like everyone to know that in precisely two weeks, I will be celebrating another year survived in mortality. And, since there's nothing good about entering my late mid-twenties, I've compiled the following list of worldly items that may ease my passing:
- A garlic press.
- A Magic 8 Ball.
- A fancy hummingbird feeder.
- A toaster.
- A grapefruit knife.
- Glow bracelets.
- A Scentsy Plug-In. (Camu Camu is my favorite.)
- An aloe vera plant.
- Twister.
- A white orchid. (I'll try not to kill this one. Uh... it could even be fake.)
- Sour worms.
- A bobblehead of myself.
- A good flashlight.
- A John Wayne refrigerator magnet.
- A strobe light.
- An air pump.
- A lover.
Just a few quick, affordable ideas for my adoring fans. Happy Almost-My-Birthday to you all!
8 years ago
