This morning I was reading about different omens on the Internet. What does it mean when a dove (the symbol of love and peace) murders itself right in front of you?! Putting my mind at ease, a coworker decided that maybe there was some reason I needed to stay at work a minute longer that day. Some purpose for that glitch in my plan that I may never know...
I share this disturbing little anecdote because it illustrates things that have been on my mind on a larger scale lately. If there's anything I've learned about plans, it's that they change... and that most often it's disappointing. Even heartbreaking.
I've thought a lot lately of those moments... those changes-of-plan... the rifts in the continuum of my life that have brought me to this point. Things like:
A trip to the mailbox revealing the 'small envelope' from the university I planned to attend.
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The last text message to the person I had intended to marry.
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The heartbreaking phone call from a sister that somehow let me know that everything had changed.
That's about the time I stopped making plans. Big plans anyway. The funny thing is that when I think about the last four (unplanned) years, they seem like the most fulfilling and character-building years of my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Maybe sometimes the disappointments have a purpose. My new plan? Not to have a plan.
I'm clearly not the one in charge.
3 comments:
yep, i agree, life has a lot of disappointments! here's a good quote i live by:
“Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
Gordon B. Hinckley
Great quote right? :)
Well said friend. Miss you!
Some of us take a lot longer to learn that truth! You can still plan-- just know that there is always room for a better plan you may not know about when you are doing the planning.
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