The Very Worst Winners

The Phoenix Suns have the very worst fans. Many of you reading this will be offended by that, but let me explain...

See, this is actually a bucket list post about how I finally made it to an Oklahoma City Thunder game. (Two actually, although the first was a preseason game in which Durant, Westbrook, Ibaka and Collison sat out.) In my years as an Arizona resident, I have been to many Suns games. I have, however, only witnessed them winning two. Both were against the Oklahoma City Thunder. (Let me remind you that the first was the game in which none of OKC's starters played.)

The second was one of the most incredible games I've ever seen. Normally I would be upset to see my team lose, but in this case, my team had played beautifully. Durant kept his 25 point per game streak alive and everyone else was on point. What we witnessed that night was Gerald Green having the best game of his career (so far... let's hope he hasn't peaked just yet) hitting 3-pointer after 3-pointer for an amazing 41 points total.

Close game. We lost. Couldn't find it in me to be upset after the magic I'd just seen.

Completely prepared to head home and write a raving review of the Suns' performance, I instead came home to multiple rude Facebook wall posts about how my team choked (when really both teams played phenomenally) and how the Suns trashed us.  (6 points does not constitute trashing. By definition, I believe a trashing requires at least a 20 point lead.)  It was interesting, since when the Suns lose, everyone likes to act like it's no big deal. It's when they win that things get ugly.

The only conclusion I could make was that fans of the Phoenix Suns, while great at refraining from being sore losers (with the exception of the grudge they like to hold against the Spurs), are horrible winners. Good thing that doesn't happen too often. (Ooohhh... burn!)

Just kidding.  I fully believe they will be formidable in a few seasons.

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"Attend an Oklahoma City Thunder game" has been replaced with "Publish a book" on the Everlasting Bucket List.

Like a (Falling) Rock Star

Several weeks ago, I finally had an opportunity to join some friends at a rock gym.  Of course I woke that morning with a slight fever. (Nothing a few caffeinated painkillers couldn't handle...)

I shelled out the cash, harnessed up (after watched the mandatory safety video), and hit the rocks. I'm going to go ahead and say I killed it. With an exception...

You see, the second wall I tried had a monstrous ledge two-thirds of the way up.  It seemed easy enough. Especially watching each of my friends do it without a problem.  I had a problem.  I couldn't see past the ledge when I got up to it enough to plan a successful move beyond it.  I fell. More than once.

I did successfully scale many others with different challenges and obstacles with little trouble.  After four failed attempts, I was done with the wall.  A friend that was with me tried to get me to try again, insisting I wouldn't be happy until I mastered it.  Knowing how competitive I can be, normally I would agree with her. But as I dangled from my butt harness, one of my favorite songs (All the Right Moves by OneRepublic) came to mind:

Let's paint the picture of the perfect place.

They got it better than what anyone's told you.

They'll be the king of hearts and you're the queen of spades

And we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers.

I know we got it good, but they got it made

And the grass is getting greener each day.

I know things are looking up, but soon they'll take us down

Before anybody's knowing our name.

They got, All the right friends in all the right places

So yeah, we're going down, they got

All the right moves and all the right faces

So yeah, we're going down

As much as I love to win, there's a certain beauty in admitting defeat.  There was nothing in me that felt the need to get to the top of that wall.  To this day, I have no regrets about quitting.  

I still feel like a rock star.

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"Go Rock Climbing" has been replaced on the Everlasting Bucket List by "See a Linkin Park concert."

Hot Chick, Cold Chick

Two things: I've always wanted to learn to snowboard. I hate doing things I'm not good at. (You can call me a quitter if you want, but nobody can argue that it's not fun to suck.)

This year I decided to finally cross "Snowboard" off my bucket list (See below). My lovely friend Jacki, concerned that my first experience needed to be the best it could possibly be, decided we should take a road trip to Utah...aka the "greatest snow on earth"... for my rookie run. So we did.

DAY ONE:
We started with a night ski trip. Background info: We drove all night the evening before and slept for about an hour and a half before going. I don't think this was an actual factor, but I thought it might somehow excuse the fact that I couldn't put my boots on myself, grasp the concept of propelling myself around with one leg on the board, or think to tuck my shirt into my pants. Any one of these things would have made the situation slightly less pathetic.

Up the mountain we went. Choosing what we thought was an easy route, down the mountain we started. The first half of the ride down consisted of me spending a lot of time on my butt.  At one point I fell directly under the chairlift.  I felt I needed to toss a thumbs-up and a "No worries, I've got this!" to the guys passing overhead. To this, one responded, "Hey, you're a hot chick on a snowboard. That's all that matters!"  Indeed.

We met up with a snowboarding class (full of people much younger than I) where I was offered a few quick pointers before my next attempt. That attempt wasn't terribly bad. I know that because the instructor yelled a commendation down to me on my form. If there's anything I can say for myself, it's that I'm pretty good at pretending I know what I'm doing for brief stints of time.

By my second run I kind of felt like I was getting the hang of it... staying up longer and falling less often.  Third time's a charm, right? That is, unless the path you take on your third run is fraught with awful flat parts which require you to hop and shimmy your way to the next hill every time you fall and lose momentum.  I'm pretty sure it was a decade and a half before we finally reached the bottom.  That was it for me.
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DAY TWO:
Bright and early-ish the next morning we headed back for a full day on the slopes.  You would think I would have been better on my second try.  Maybe I would have been if every bone and muscle in my body wasn't aching from eating snow the evening before.  All of the muscles required to get back up from a fall were refusing to function.  I came to the conclusion that it would be a whole lot easier if I just didn't fall. Evidently I like to challenge myself, because I ignored that idea entirely.  At one point I'm fairly certain I left a perfect outline of my body in a snow bank like in the cartoons. No joke.  I was beginning to celebrate the small victories... like getting off the chairlift without face-planting. Things were bleak.

By lunch I had only come down three times and was about ready to quit.  My company convinced me to try another route one more time from the top, so up we went.  They were going to wait for me at the bottom of the first slope before the next hill. I started down, and somehow, in a physics-defying stunt, I manage to fly into the air, swan dive pelvis and rib cage first into the packed snow, and flip over my head and onto my back.  All wind, pride, and possibly future children knocked out of me, I unclipped my bindings and started my nice alpine hike down the mountain.  And so the "hot chick on a snowboard" became the cold chick carrying a snowboard.
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I decided to go back to the lodge and play in the snow by myself while my friends finish out the day.  The next few minutes were a very real illustration of the idea that the night it darkest just before the dawn.  On my way back to the lodge, I took one step with my right foot which dropped 4 feet down into the snow. If you can picture a dejected creature, one leg on top of the snow, the other buried four feet down, snowboard in hand, 3 year olds flying past on skis... that was me. Evidently this was my threshold of ridiculousness, because I broke into a fit of hysterical laughter before awkwardly digging my way out.

I determined my time and money would be best spent if I could at least find a decent place to make a snow angel.

This became my saving angel of mercy, because as I got up from making it...

What did I see? Another chairlift. Slow-moving. Short. With a sign. What was on the sign? A happy polar bear. A happy polar bear in a ski cap. Beckoning to me. Saying, "Here, Ami. Let me show you how to snowboard."  So onto the slow chairlift I sat. And down the perfectly delightful, easy slope I went. By myself. Without falling. Then I did it again. And again. Until Jacki came to find me and we rode it together. Aww...

I won't always snowboard. But when I do...I'll prefer the slope with the happy polar bear.

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"Snowboard" has been replaced on the Endless Bucket List with "Take a Trapeze Lesson."

Kicking the Bucket... List?

Okay, so I'm not getting rid of the "Everlasting Bucket List," though I'm sure that's how the title makes this sound. I have, however, been neglecting it and am getting myself re-amped.

Let's begin with a little housekeeping...

1) I can now recognizably play "Moon River," "Not in Nottingham," and a number of miscellaneous Christmas carols on the harmonica. At the moment, I only play for family and close friends. And by close I mean those in near enough proximity to overhear me practicing when I think I'm alone. However, since I'm well on my way to professional status, I'm going to go ahead and replace "Play the Harmonica" on the list.

2) I have, in the last few months, had at least 3 massages. Legit massages. Perks of working at a physical therapy clinic... I have good connections! I fully intend to make this a regular part of my adult life. It's absolutely essential to survival. Let me know if you need a reference!

So, I need new goals! Here are my two best ideas...

1) Until today, I had not seen any part of any Rocky movie. (I know. It's a crime.) As a self-proclaimed underdog-loving sports movie junkie, I'm a little ashamed of that fact. I just watched the last 20 minutes of Rocky IV (which I've heard is the best one) and am now determined to watch them all. Even the awful ones. "Play the Harmonica" with now be replaced with "Watch all 6 Rocky movies." Then maybe I'll rank them in order of favorite.

2) Learn braille. Okay... just the alphabet. Brilliant, right? Granted, I rarely see braille anywhere without unintentionally reading the words above it first, and typically it would be easier to feel the actual letters with my fingers to read it... I'm doing this. It's happening.

Wish me luck!

Laser Tag

I finally did it! And by that I mean I crossed something off of my bucket list. Fun fact about me: One of my greatest fears is being chased. (No, not being chaste. I'm okay with that one.) There's something about having someone after me that causes a great deal of anxiety... even if it's just a game.

On the flip side, I've always wanted to play laser tag, but it made me nervous just to think about it. (I'm also super cheap sometimes... but we don't need to discuss that.) Last month for a ward activity at church, they had laser tag at a park nearby. Thinking it would be the cheap Nerf equipment we went to check it out.







It was legit. (Kids use that word these days.)

I have to say it was a little unnerving how satisfying it was to shoot at my peers and hear my gun report "That's a kill!" What does that say about me?

"Play laser tag" will be replaced by "Attend an OKC Thunder Game" on the Everlasting Bucket List.

Meeting Celebrities - a docJEWmentary

While finalizing plans for my Halloween weekend, I had finally come to terms with the fact that I would not be attending the sold-out concert of one of my very favorite bands, Jimmy Eat World. No sooner had I made this assessment when I received a text from my friend James informing me that not only had he won tickets to the concert, but a chance to attend a private sound check with the band before the show. Sold!

So off we went Saturday afternoon, and after waiting for some time were escorted to the front of the stage. The guys played a few songs just for us (and for the sound check, of course) before coming down to sign photos for us. We were at the mercy of a professional photographer for photos with the band... so may not have gotten the perfect photos, but still awesome!

Jim (not zoomed in)

Me with Tom, Rick, and my friend James

The concert itself was amazing. It was a costume concert (what with it being Halloween and all) so many people were dressed up. Before the concert we'd seen some creepy ones, including a jawa wandering around. (If you don't know what a jawa is, it's those little guys from Star Wars that wear the cloaks with the glowing red eyes...) He stood near me for a minute and then walked away. I remembered thinking to myself, "Wow... that could be anyone." When the band went on stage.... sure enough, there was Rick the jawa on bass!

He'd been right there...

Anyway, it was a lot of fun to see the guys dressed up. They played a great show (and long... nearly two hours of JEW!) Definitely the best Halloween party I've ever been to!

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"Meet a Celebrity" has been replaced with "Play Laser Tag" on the Everlasting Bucket List.

In the Raw... (no nudity)

Well, I did it. On August the 17th, 2010... I ate sushi. With the help and savvy of my good friend Jessica, I've actually accomplished a goal from the Everlasting Bucket List. This occasion was monumental enough to warrant photographic proof.


This is the sushi from a restaurant called Koni Grill. Looks okay, right!?


This is my mentor giving me the chopsticks tutorial.
And this...


Is me taking my first bite ever of sushi!


The verdict:
Sushi is disgusting. The textures, the flavors (or sometimes lack thereof) were a little off for me. there were a lot of things on the menu I would much rather have had. Will I ever have sushi again? It's safe to say it wouldn't be my idea. I'm definitely glad to have the experience! Thanks, Jess!


"Eat Sushi' has been replaced with "Get a Spray Tan" on the list.

Truly Everlasting

So... some of you may recall the unveiling of the ever-so-clever "Everlasting Bucket List." Some of you may even have been thinking, "Wait, wasn't the idea that Ami would be working toward accomplishing those goals, all the while replacing them with new goals? What's the hold-up?"

Short answer: I'm lame.

Long answer: Some of these goals are much more impossible than they seem. Let me give you a few examples of the roadblocks along my way.

1) I've been growing poorer with each passing month. With just this one excuse I can wipe out "Take a dance class," "Play the harmonica," "Visit New York," "See Versailles," "Get a Passport," and "Get a massage."

2) I live in the desert and it's summertime. This removes "Snowboard," "Go rock climbing," and "Camp in the mountains."

3) A few of them are very obscure. I've done some serious searching and have not found any record of a "Gunther" anywhere in the state of Arizona.
Also, apparently the only places to legally hold a koala are actually in Australia. Did I mention I'm broke?!

4) Some are just out of my hands. This includes "Meet a celebrity," and "Win some money." Although a girl at church this week told us all how the singer of Linkin Park walked into Subway the other day. I go there all the time! I guess I'm just one of those people that are in the right place at the wrong time. *Sigh*

That pretty much covers them all... except for "Eat Sushi." The problem with this one is that when I decide it's dinnertime, I almost never think about raw fish. As soon as I find the motivation to choke down some slimy seafood, you'll all be the first to hear about it.

All in good time. I guess I just didn't expect the list to be quite so everlasting!